Tuesday, February 27, 2007

One Liner News for Tuesday, February 27, 2007!


We offer this up for those of you with no attention spans. It’s made up of actual news headlines we find that we dress up a bit.

Cheney unhurt in Afghan suicide attack…
Our Vice President always goes where the danger is
and comes out fine, surviving trips to war-torn countries and even his own hunting trips.

Italian ambassador hurt in Tamil Tiger attack
…perhaps he needs to take some lessons from Danger Dick Cheney on how to survive anything.

52 Proven Stress Reducers…It’s a nice list but we find it odd that Jimmy Buffett hasn’t written a song about any of the items on the list.

Safety pin and stick freed snatched boy…Never send your kid out the door without a safety pin!

Obese boy gets to stay with mom…Apparently having a fat kid in the UK is a legal matter.

Mom taught kids to fake retardation for benefits scamAnd what’s YOUR financial plan?

Monday, February 26, 2007

One Liner News -- Monday Weekend Hangover Edition


(That means we didn't work too hard on this).

After Guinness Nod to Indian Chili, Woman to Set Record Eating it…undoubtedly she will also set a record
for eating Maalox not long after.

Stand-In Mistress Sought to Take Wife’s Abuse…Only in China will a man place an advertisement looking for someone to beat up his mistress so his wife won’t hurt her!

Thirteen Places to Watch TV Online for Free…and the Internet killed the TV
star?

Twenty-five Things You Should Have Learned by Middle Age…”It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat” is our favorite.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Mr. Peakerman Knows-It-All About...Web 2.0



It's the latest buzzword -- "Web 2.0," but what the heck does it mean? It takes a culutural anthropologist from Kansas State University to explain it to us in the video below. Maybe you'll learn something to impress your boss.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


This is what we did all day today -- came up with a new edition of "One Liner News."


We take actual news headlines we find and make them into something far more interesting.


What not to do while taking a sobriety test…this is probably anything you’re doing right now.

New Nine Inch Nails song found on a USB drive in a bathroom in Portugal…that’s probably the best thing involving Nine Inch Nails we’ll ever find in a public restroom.

Sharapova named U.N. Goodwill Ambassador…fearing competition, Angelina Jolie has built a chastity belt for beau Brad Pitt.

God vs. evolution in Kansas…does this mean Kansas can no longer evolve?

Scalia’s daughter charged with DUI…Bush feels bad for letting Jenna befriend the justice’s daughter.

New ice cream made for Stephen Colbert called Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream…does this make him the next generation’s Jerry Garcia?

Woman jacks a U-Haul and plays demolition derby – word has it her boyfriend forgot it was Valentine’s Day. Actually, that headline was so good we just left it as it was.

Police assault old lady with stun gun for honking…if she were a snowbird from Sun City this would be so much sweeter.

US military tells Jack Bauer to cut out the torture scenes or else. They do know it’s just a TV show, right?

Psychic museum closes due to unforeseen circumstances. Another headline that came ready made. Yeah, there’s no way to improve upon that one.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Someone besides the Dixie Chicks won Grammy Awards too!


Disclosure: It’s not that we hate the Dixie Chicks because we don’t hate anybody. That would be un-Peaklike. But that wasn’t supposed to be the CMA’s last night… Just sayin’.

Our Peak artists fared rather well with Bob Dylan picking up the Grammy for Solo Rock Vocal Performance for Someday Baby. The Red Hot Chili Peppers did the best out of all our favorites and we’re so happy about that. They won two awards for Dani California -- Duo or Group with Vocal and Rock Song. They also picked up the Best Rock Album Grammy for their double album, Stadium Arcadium.

John Mayer proved lucky (and not for dating Jessica Simpson either) winning the Male Vocal Solo for Waiting on the World to Change. The song came from his latest album, Continuum, which also won a Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album. Fellow Phoenician Peter Frampton also picked up a Grammy Award last night for Best Pop Instrumental Album for Fingerprints.

It would have been nice to see Tom Petty pick up an award, but the Dixie Chicks probably would have beat him too somehow. We feel somewhat miffed today about all that Dixie Chicking that went on last night.

To add insult to injury, Rascal Flatts and Carrie Underwood covered The Eagles. At least Underwood covered Desperado, a song covered by some country artist before but we can’t remember who it was. We just wanted to hear a girl do that one. The Peak Staff were starting to get concerned Rascal Flatts was getting carried away, although their rendition of Life in the Fastlane was good.

Last but certainly not least, we must talk about The Police reunion! Did it not leave you wanting more? Were you not shaking your head in disbelief as they ran off the stage after performing Roxanne saying to yourself, “That’s it?”

The very first words spoken at the Grammy Awards last night were from Sting: “We’re the Police and we’re back!” They were the sweetest words a Peakerhead has heard in a long time (aside from anything related to Peakerman’s upcoming party).

Guess we’ll put up with the Chicks if we can at least have one of the best bands of all time reunite after 23 years. And that is exactly how we shall choose to remember the 49th Annual Grammy Awards – it was the night The Police reunited.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Here's a "Big Game" commercial I like. I love it when old ladies attack.





I also like it when young ladies attack!





Remember this one? I thought it would be nice to post as you're all running out to buy your Vista...





Here's a preview of this weekend's Budweiser commercials!





A leaked Apple commercial from this weekend!





Here's a Nationwide commercial also leaked prior to the weekend's sporting festivities.





Hey, at least the fellow has a job now. I think I'd like some of those fries...

Here's my favorite "Big Game" commercial



Too bad it was banned...