One Liner News!

What a dreary news day…how will we ever make fun of the news on a day like this? Watch us!

TV Shows That Should Be Cancelled
…Why didn’t the TV show with that kid with the hair make the list?

Michael Jordan’s Divorce Most Costly Ever
…Paul McCartney breathes a sigh of relief for now.

Bird Flies Into Engine of Cheney’s Plane
…Danger Cheney ducks death again!

Actually, we have no idea what kind of bird it was, and it probably wouldn’t have done a thing to Cheney’s plane. But isn’t it eerie how often death and danger cross paths with the VP?

Woman: Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting
…We’ve heard of the Twinkie defense, but never the lower intestine defense.

Man Arrested in Feces-Filled Home
…No word on why he was found hanging out alone in Don Imus’s house.

ADOT Projects Will Close Parts of Freeways This Week
…Because our traffic isn’t bad enough as it is.