One Liner News about unlikely connections between strippers and really boring things like voting and chess. We know – it’s totally weird and random!

Heather Mills: “I’ll always love Paul.”
…We’d always love anyone who could potentially give us a $56 million divorce settlement too!

Pot Smoker to Keep Fighting
…Now when have you seen a pothead fight anything?

Apathetic Voters Tempted with Free Strip Club Entry
…Extra polling workers now needed to handle expected onslaught of frat boys and middle-aged men desperately trying to cling to their youth.

Carmen Elektra Wipes Out on the Runway
…Marking the first time in ages a sober celeb takes a fall – even Britney can stay upright .

Young Chess Prodigy Runs Away, Lives with Stripper
…We fully expect Murray Head to use this as the inspiration to write “One Night in Bangkok Part 2” -- except technically this would be about nights in Brazil.

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