Today’s One Liner News hits below the belt!

The ‘Burger King’ Will Have His Own Movie
…See, there really will be a worse movie to come along than Mariah Carey’s Glitter.

Obama Pays Parking Tickets Ten Years Late
…giving new meaning to an old cliché: “a day late and a dollar short.”

Calvin Klein’s New Perfume: The Scent of a Blogger
…But who wants to smell like someone sitting in their pajamas at their laptop, incidentally the exact smell of Heather and Steve?

Man Burns Genitals in ‘Jackass’ Stunt
…You know, most normal people try to avoid a burning sensation ‘down there.’

Mr. Bean: Trouser Problems
…A video oddly reminiscent of any night at Peakerman’s penthouse.

Dog Named Lassie Dies Rescuing Elderly Couple From House Fire
…However, Timmy is still stuck in the well.

So sorry about that last one. Couldn’t help it.